<h1>An Error Has Occurred</h1>
<?php if ($this->statusCode == 500): ?>
<p>We're truly sorry, but we cannot complete your request at this
time.</p>
<p>If it's any consolation, we have scheduled a new appointment 
for our development team leader in Torture Chamber #7 to encourage
his colleagues to investigate this incident.</p>
<?php else: ?>
<p>We're truly sorry, but the page you are trying to locate does not exist.</p>
<p>Please double check the requested URL or consult your local
Optometrist.</p>
<?php endif; ?>
